OBEY THE HELLBUSTERS (frequently asked questions)
What do you guys mean by “Obey the Hellbusters”?
- Don’t kill nobody. It’s wrong and you know it.
- Don’t rape nobody. It’s wrong and you know it.
- Don’t steal nothing. It’s wrong and you know it.
- Anything else is between you and God.
What other tenets of Obeying the Hellbusters are there?
There are a number of minor tenets that go with the above… that include (but aren’t limited to):
1. Don’t spit on people.
2. Respect and observe the High Holy Holidays of Hellbusting, which are:
a. January 8th – Elvis’ birthday.
b. Sept. 1st – The day RL Burnside died. On this day, true believers will celebrate by drinking a drink RL himself invented… the “Bloody Motherf*cker)… which is equal parts whiskey and tomato juice.
c. September 12th – the day Johnny Cash died. On this day, members of the orthodoxy will listen to Cash music, reflect on their mortality and get right with Jesus, trains their woman (or equivalent).
3. If loving George Thorogood is wrong, we don’t wanna be right.
4. Know your limits and don’t be a dick when you’re drinking.
5. If somebody tells you you’re being a dick when you’re drinking, accept the likelihood that they’re right.
6. Mojo Nixon and Mississippi Fred McDowell should have their likenesses carved on Mount Rushmore.
7. So should all members, past and present, of Reverend Horton Heat, the Beat Farmers, and also Junior Kimbrough.
8. Uses your damn blinkers.
9. Do not give Jack D. Dolyle energy drinks of any type, for any reason, in any amount.
10. Wear neutral colors when visiting a biker bar, if not affiliated. It’s good manners and prevents misunderstandings.
11. Moshing is best left to kids.
12. Please tip.
13. John Force is God’s racer.
14. Love your mama (or equivalent female).
15. Sometimes violence *is* the answer.
16. Don’t argue with the man with the microphone.
17. Don’t poke snakes with sticks.
18. Fear not, and be safe from evil.
19. There are only three valid subjects for songs: God, Love and Murder. A song can contain more than one, but every song must include at least one, or you’re just playing jazz.
OTHER FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
1. What kind of guitar is that?
It is a 2004 Fender FR50-CE electric resonator that I named “Sweet Baby”. And no, you can’t hold her.
2. What is a ‘Hellbuster’?
As usually defined, a “hellbuster” is a minister of some type, reknowned in some traditions for fighting against the Devil and all his agents. In some pentecostal Christian traditions, for example, you would go to a “hellbuster” to get them to pray for you, and in some cases, to exorcise the demons from you. That’s why we took the name. We try to do a similar thing… if you’re feeling bad and down, we try to make you feel better through the high, healing and holy power of the hard blues.
3. What kind of amps do you use?
Various… from Epiphone Valve Junior amps, to Peavey Classic 30, to Vox DA-series solid state modeling amps, to Pignose 7-100s. In fact, we’ve both been really into Pignoses lately.
4. Did Jack really once kill a man with a microphone cord?
Next question.
5. What’s in that flask you have on stage?
The cheapest stuff I can get, yet very smooth. Ask me at a show sometime, I’ll let you try it.
